One Seize-and-Arrest Warrant for—

One Legendary Troll-King.

​

Franky Benjamin.

​

Blasphemy, selling reviews on Amazon.com using burner accounts,

Defacement of Historical Artefacts, carving his initials on the World Tree,

Sale and Distribution in the Swancoat-Trafficking Trade, selling swan-women for wives on eBay,

Chemical Contamination of Natural Resources, peeing in the Fount of Youth,

Impairment to the Underworld Operations, feeding the Guard-Puppies of Hades chocolate,

Obstruction to Justice, dipping cupid arrows in chloroform,

A Cute Abomination, by freak-genetic experiment mating, on the ark, a duck and a beaver: the Platypus,

Upset the Natural Balance of the World, selling "magic beans" that grew into broccoli.

​

​​

If seen, please notify local authority.

​

Thank you.

​

​

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

​

​

​

​

​

* Blue Screen of Death

--"what if I told you, everything was a lie?"--

 

We don't know if there are really only 64 possible ways for a story to unfold -- that is just the number of hexagrams from the I Ching, --but we do think the number is finite, and significantly smaller than one might otherwise believe. But that doesn't mean the material can't be fresh and inspiring, and of the three fairytale specialists, we most highly recommend the works of Andersen. We also would like to take this opportunity to apologize to the famous Tragedians, for not really having read any of their works (oops), --but plan on doing so, soon. 

​

Oh, and most importantly—

Tragedy might reflect Truth, but reality is always optimistic.

​

​

​

​

​

​

* Escaping with Promethean Fire

--a tragedy, in one act--

​

This piece is an extended metaphor on the stages of literary convention,

and the artistic/spiritual experience at large, --with a surprise twist.

​

Triangles are the stablest building blocks in the world.

​

​

​

​

​

* Ghost in a Mask

--a Halloween special, with a Caped Crusader-cameo!--

​

Yar, we hope we didn't offend anyone with this story. Surely we recognize there are two sides to everything, --just as there are lawyers who serve as the olive branches of Justice, or the swine they represent; or spiritual leaders who are truly divine, and not carpet charlatans; so there are truly honorable officers who might take time off work to help buy and assemble beds, tables, and toys for underprivileged children, and not pump them point-blank with twelve rounds. On a lighter note, Maddie would just like to remind us all that the moniker of her alter-ego is in fact not "The Raging Feminist," but—

 "Pepper Steel." 

Spicy like an eel.

​

​

​

​

​

​

* The Idea of Washington

--a treatise on the substance of the mind--

 

Basically a love letter to Plato, Emerson, and Thoreau, with a lot of plagiarisms. 

​

​

​

 

 

 

 

* Babel on the Rocks

--a message in a bottle, from Franky and Maddie--

 

Yes, this is definitely one of the weaker pieces. After many attempts to toss it away, we've decided to keep it until perhaps another

story or re-write comes along, in the same way one finds it difficult to disown a grossly overweight cat, --because it is "our" cat, dammit.

 

The redeeming qualities, for us, are in the -meta elements, like the "four paragraphs later," "just look up," "just flat-fluck lost it,"

 

...which we admit gets old pretty fast.

 

And we intended some greater meaning behind the moniker, "The Taskmaster,"

and the fact of his mobility, but we lost it about halfway through.

 

This story was mostly inspired by real-life accounts of cram cultures from across the world, but the ending is purely an academic/literary one, suggested by wise council throughout the ages, --to learn to see the history, the processes, and, invariably, the failure of society to do so, at large.

 

But we do not know a solution, nor attempt to offer one in real life.